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If I Died Too Soon
by Carol Folsom

I was afraid I might die
before you could know me
so I taped my voice
singing lullabies
All the Pretty Horses
so you could hear me
if I died too soon

I bought a videocamera
to film you and me
I bounced you
baby talked
held you in my arms
so you could see me
if I died too soon.

But I lived
to nurse you through chicken pox
to bake cupcakes for the class
to cheer your team at soccer
to cry when you found the drugs
the bad boys
the principal's office

Then you wrecked your truck in the rain
the phone call
the ER
your bloody clothes in a paper bag
nineteen years old
shaking with pain
a brace on your neck
but alive!
By God I almost died


First published: Cradle Songs: An Anthology of Poems on Motherhood (Quill and Parchment Press 2013)
Winner 2013 International Book Award  

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